Dentist again

I took the courage to call the dentist a couple of weeks ago. I got a time the week after for a check up and som x-rays. It took many years and a broken tooth before I had the guts to call them and when I did everything moved very fast, a bit too fast.

It is a bit shameful to say that you are afraid of the dentist. So afraid that you don´t dare to go there. But finally I did. On the phone I explained how scared I was and if they were going to do a big job with anesthetics I probably had to take some kind of sedatives. This was a dentist I got recommended.

On my first visit last week my daughter Madeleine volunteered to come with me, to hold my hand so to speak. She never did but mentally she actually hold my hand. When I got in to the examination room I said "You mustn´t be angry with me or say Wow! or anything like that. If you do I will walk away." They said that they would do nothing of the sort and I sat down.

The examination wasn´t painful but shameful. I felt so ashamed that I had neglected going to the dentist for so long. But of course I had painted a much worse picture than what it really was. It was bad of course but not as bad as I had imagined.

Then I got a new time for yesterday. The dentist was going to do a small job on a filling that had fallen out. He wanted me to take anesthetic as a sort of trial. I really didn´t need it this time. When he said it mt froze and then started pounding and it felt like I was going to cry, or walk away or ...I don´t know.

It was absolutely awful but was over kind of quickly. Then he said that he wanted to start with the broken tooth as soon as possible to be able to save it. He had prescribed sedatives for me and that I needed someone to drive me.

-Well my husband is leaving Sweden on Saturday and is away for two weeks, I said.
-Can you come tomorrow?

ding ding ding the alarm system went amok and I didn´t know what to say.

-Tomorrow? I whispered. I have to call him and ask (say no, say no, say no)

He said yes. Yes to drive me to death row.

So here I am. Soon I will take a shower and then 2 pills that will make me soft, with no worries and calm. Do whatever like-feeling. Ok you want to drill in my mouth. ok no problem. You want to take BIG syringes and put in my mouth. Ok no problem.

Pray for me or whatever you do.

Ase Don´t worry, be happy